Many of you have followed my silly little blog over the past year. I appreciate your kind comments and your patience. Some of you have told me that I should take up writing since I’m all retired now and have nothing else to do. J Ha ha. Today I’m writing. Please bear with me, it may be a little long. This is a different kind of story. It’s from my heart and a plea for the prayerful support of all of you dear friends and family who love me. I’m so blessed to have you!
Every story has a beginning so I’ll start there. After my first beautiful daughter “Little Molly” was born I learned that I had some malignant spots on my cervix which had been confirmed by a biopsy. I made plans to have surgery to take care of this. Very shortly before the surgery should have taken place I learned that I was pregnant. The doc suggested that perhaps we should continue with the surgery… but that option would mean terminating the pregnancy. The other option would be to continue with the pregnancy and monitor the cells through out. Hopefully they would be slow growing and then we could do the surgery after the baby was born. My first husband, Jim and I did not want to terminate the pregnancy so we chose the second option. We are Christians and so we sought prayer from those at our church and other friends and family and trusted that God would take care of us. And he did. At the appointed time our son Daniel was born and as any other new mother and father, we were joyful and thankful for the little bundle of awesomeness. J The doctor told me to come back in about two months and we would go ahead and take a last look and then schedule the surgery. So… when Daniel was two months old I went back to the doc. He had scheduled another colposcopy to review the growth of the cells. As he began the exam Daniel began to fuss and cry in his car seat. I know… can you say babysitter? J But since I was a nursing mom and babies usually sleep most of the time I had brought him along. The nurse took him out of the car seat and brought him to me on the table. He quieted down right away and just snuggled up with me. So the doc got busy. He looked and looked. And did not talk, which I thought was pretty unusual as he usually chatted about other things not related to my insides during exams. Anyway… eventually he finished the procedure and came around and stood by the side of the table. He had an awfully funny look on his face so I thought it might be bad news. Finally I asked, “Well?” And finally he said, “Well… it’s gone.” YES! That was pretty great news to hear. I asked if that happens often and he said he had never seen it before in his experience. I asked if we could go ahead and classify it as a minor miracle and he smiled, also being a Christian, and told me he thought perhaps we could.
I have always considered Daniel a little miracle because of that. Each child is. Each child has their own special story. Each child is a miracle of God and I am so thankful for each child that the Lord has given me. (And for the other awesome children in my life, I can not tell you how grateful I am that I have not experienced the magnitude of pain that I am about to describe, with you! Bless you all!) God has a plan for each of our lives. I feel like God started me off early with faith for this child because of the circumstance with the cancer. I could have chosen to have the surgery. But God had a plan for his life. I have watched him grow up and at times been so proud. He is so very smart and has such a kind heart. Then the teen years arrived! L He began getting in trouble with drugs and problems at school when he was I believe about 16. Possibly earlier but parents are usually the last to know! We lived through the drug court years. Weekly then bi-weekly visits before the judge and about a year and a half of rehab and counseling. Finally he graduated from the program. They have him a little plaque that says, “You are a miracle”. I still have it and can actually look over and see it from my desk. Again… I was so proud! Over the next years I have continued to watch, pray and have faith that God will bring to pass the plans he has for this young man. I have shared with him the special story that began his life and told him that I know God has a special purpose for him. His heart is soft and I have seen him cry many times. Even knowing he is called of God (in his mother’s opinion anyway) he has run hard and far! I have recently learned that for the last several years he has been using drugs of the worst kind. He has lied to everyone who loves him. He is now helplessly addicted, spending more money on drugs than he is making at his job. He is doing everything that people do when their next high is the focus of their lives. His girlfriend Nicole is in the same condition. We (her mother and I) have known for some time of her situation (although she regularly informs us that she is clean) but he maintained his innocence. We thought he was helping her hide her addiction in order to stay together and keep their beautiful daughter Aubrey who just turned three years old. They are now homeless. They have recently been arrested, lost their vehicle and the custody of Aubrey. CPS is now involved and Aubrey is with Nana Charlene. I have not heard from him recently. If he sees this little story on facebook or is told of it by friends he may be extremely angry. I find myself past caring about his reaction. I think though in his heart he would be grateful for your prayers. One of the things he said to his sister recently was that he was not a bad person. This is true. He is not. He has a very soft heart. He is a very sick person.
I have spent the last two days walking around in a daze and am emotionally exhausted. I slept for 10 hours last night. I got up this morning feeling pretty good and thought I could get through the day tear free… NOT! So… I’ve been trying to take care of “stuff” as usual but with very puffy eyes and a very heavy heart. I have cried out to God as most mothers who have children in crisis do. Despite the circumstances I have faith that God has him in the palm of his hand. That he will keep him and deliver and restore him. He has reminded me again of the special word he gave me for this young man some time ago. That he will be a “light to his generation”. You see… he is not the only one. There are millions of young people in our country, in the world, young people in our neighborhoods and in our families who are also in crisis. Those of you who are praying people please join me and pray for Daniel and Nicole and little Aubrey. Please pray for me too. Yes I have faith! I am also a mother and my emotions are very “volatile” right now. J Pray for our family. Remember my dear mama. She has not been feeling well and the doctors have not yet figured out why. We are going to need our favorite little prayer warrior! Pray for Nicole’s family. They are also a good family full of kind people who also just want their daughter to be whole again. Those of you who are not believers… just watch! We are about to see a modern day miracle in the life of this young man. Jesus is alive and well and is about to show himself in a mighty way. How long must we watch? I don’t know. I am extremely tired! I’m ready! But I also know that God’s timing is perfect. This is a statement of faith. This is something I can’t fix. But God can. It’s his specialty. J
Why would I write this and publish it for all the world to see? I hesitate to do it. I’m a pretty private person and would rather hide things that are painful and shameful. Addiction is not a new thing in our family. I experienced it as a teenager as my father struggled with alcohol. This is no secret. He would be happy to tell you his story of the depths of despair and redemption. Our son Adam also travelled this road. He also came to the point where life was just about as ugly as it gets. Again, heartbreaking to watch. By the grace of God he is recovering and doing well. He is rebuilding his life. I believe he would tell you it has been a very long hard road. We are so happy to once again hear his larger than life laugh. I also struggle with my own set of addictions as most of you know. As I said, I am very much in need of your prayer support. And I feel that there are so many others who also suffer and may not ask for help because they are too ashamed to talk about it. But hiding it does not make it go away. I should know! Perhaps someone else will read this and it will encourage them to be brave and ask for help too. The power of prayer and the loving support of people of faith moves mountains! So thank you!
At this time the story has no ending but I trust that it will turn out very well!
