Fall 2012!

How is it possible that my last post was spring and this post is fall?  And not only fall... it snowed last night!  Enough to cover the grass, trees and barn roof!!!  but it's rain/snow now and melting off.  This spring, summer and fall have been full of life.  Some painful stuff but mostly wonderful (sounds like Dorthy describing her trip to Oz) and full of change!  Boy, how to fast forward 6 months?  Well... food wise... I believe it was just about June 1st when I took a good look at myself and decided that once again I needed an intervention - or at least a new plan!  I believe this was brought on by having to once again go to my upstairs closet and dig out my fat pants!  Ugh!  My Aunt and Unc had arrived to spend the summer with us by this time and somehow it occurred to me that maybe I should try Weight Watchers.  Aunt Jane is a lifetime member and has been very sucessful keeping trim for a long time.  Maybe I had gone to the trailer for a visit and caught her writing down points in her food log.  I don't recall what brought on the decision to join but join I did and it's been an interesting journey from that time to this.  Currently I am down 20ish pounds from June 1st.  I really want to loose another 5 or so but I'm proud of how far I've come.  Just so you know... they are the same 20 pounds I've written about over the last two years.  Anyway... when you fall off the wagon you just get up, chase after it for awhile and get back on right?  Oh, I may have rolled around in the road for awhile but I'm back on!  As of today I weigh 148.7 and my glucose level this morning was 79.  Yes... during my period of fatness my blood sugar once again climbed higher than is healthy.  And once again... now that I'm eating a much healthier diet it has come way back down and is now in the normal range.  Yay!  That is the ultimate goal.  I'm sure I'll have more to say about the Weight Watcher program later but for now... lets move on.

At the time of the last post I was about 9 months into to my new retirement and Dave was just getting settled in to his.  He found as I did that as wonderful as retirement is it definitely is a major adjustment and that even welcome changes can be confusing and scary.  At this point we both just don't want anyone to wake us up and spoil the amazing dream! 

Dave spent the summer working around the yard, fields, barn.  Messing with fences and animals and working a bit on our property across the hills at the Pend O'Reille river.  Here he is doing a little clearing so we could bring the old motorhome over to camp in...



And here is Lucy bout to climb out of the water after a nice swim ...





Tank looking for a little reassurance after the chain saw noise is over.  As you can see in the background... I was very glad to get the motorhome over there.  I'm not all that much into tent camping.  :)



And just one more shot of the lake front area



He also spent time thinking about and semi planning the fall road trip we have recently returned from.  More about that later.  He began every day the same... cup of coffee on the porch in his trashy and ancient Lazy Boy recliner with his legs in the sun and his kindle in his hand.  I loved seeing him be able to relax and smell the java :)  I spent the summer working in the garden and kitchen attempting to come up with food that was yummy, satisfying and did not exceed my weekly/daily allowance of Weight Watcher points.  I was mostly successful.  Once late summer came along it was good-bye home and hello road.  My first road trip was accompaning my daughter to southern CA in order to become daughter Katie's live in nanny.  

This is a pic of us as we were getting in the car to take off.  Look at my beautiful sunflowers in the background.  :)  And Lucy & Tank :)  And the shirt that I'm always getting razzed about wearing in every picture.  Hey!  It's comfy!  :)

The drive down was fun for the first 8 or 12 hours and them miserable once I figured out that she wasn't stopping until we arrived!  But once we did arrive I loved spending time with my beautiful grand daughters!  I also enjoyed the desert heat and playing with the babies in their little swimmy pool.





Charlotte and Kami splashing







Walking the GRAND daughters :)



We celebrated Michele's birthday while we were there...

We went to San Diego...



Charlotte at Sea World





Me at the waterfront

             



 

Katie with babies at the Hard Rock San Diego







Oh and here is revenge for Michele posting my 1990's big
hair with Tweety Bird glasses pic on facebook :)
Michele at Coronado Beach :)
Actually... I absolutely love this pic.  It's my favorite
current pic of Michele.  A great memory :)

 




























And one of my all time favorite pics... Sst Mary Katherine Muhammad with babies.
Looks like Charlotte is saying... Uncle Sam Wants You!


But all good trips must come to an end right? 
So I can go on another one!  But... that's another story... especially since I can't get my text format to behave :) 

Ciao! 

Thank God for Bell Ringers!

This is more a food for the soul than food for the body, post.  This is your opportunity to Click & Close :)
I realize it's not Christmas time and so normally the image of those irritating bell ringers that stand in front of every store I need to enter to complete my Christmas shopping would not come to mind but...

As many of you know my son, Daniel is a heroin addict.  I've gotten past the embarrassment and shame of this and am now just focusing on being a prayerful supporter of his recovery (and that of a few other loved ones).  I am just back from the Seattle area where I spent most of the week helping to facilitate him being admitted to another round of treatment.  If you are a sports fan in Seattle I bet you've seen a little facility across the street from the beautiful stadiums and probably not even thought twice about what was going on there.  It's the Seattle home of those darn bell ringers from the Salvation Army.  All day Wednesday we waited for a call back from one of the counselors hoping Dan would be accepted into their long term program.  On Thursday (the day I was supposed to be going home) I decided it would be less easy to be ignored if we just showed up down there.  I had no idea what to expect but I nervously navigated my way down to the area of the stadiums... I bet many of you could find your way there with your eyes closed right?  Anyway, we parked and walked up to the door.   It was locked so we just stood there for a minute not realizing that we just needed to "ring the bell".  Just then a man with big smile and a tag hanging around his neck walked up and said, "looks like y'all need to get inside, come on I'll take you up.  By the way... my name is Daniel and I've been clean 4 years.  I work in the warehouse."  My Daniel let out an audible sigh and I could sense just a bit of fear drain out of him.  That was the way I felt too.  Amazing how comforting a smile and a few friendly words can be.  We entered the facility and took the elevator upstairs and were greeted by more smiles and encouraging words from a number of other people who told us they were either in the program or that they had been.  The intake coordinator Anthony, who we had pestered for the last day and a half with voice mails came out and apologized for not getting back to us as soon as he would have liked. He said they were super busy but that it was great that we just came on down.  It showed that he (Dan) really wanted to be in the program.  Now mind you... it wasn't so much that Dan wanted to be in the program... it was just that he was out of options (and realized that the way he had been living was not really working)!  We were not there for more than 20 minutes before we were out on the street again with the instructions to come back tomorrow at 10 am to begin the program.  We were so relieved... and it was a beautiful day so we spent the rest of the day in Seattle poking around the Pike Place Market and having lunch down on the water front.  Michele works near by so we went and picked her up for lunch.

We had a delicious lunch at Ivar's...

 

No trip to the waterfront is complete without ferries and seagulls

Some things never change... sibling love :)

Oh the seafood at the Market!

Of course all fun days must come to an end... and the next day... well let's just say we made it to the Salvation Army Adult Treatment Program by 10:00 am.

The intake process is pretty lengthy so I stayed for about an hour.  By that time some other guys had begun to sort of take Dan under their wing and talk to him about what he might expect in the program.  I realized that I wasn't needed.  I felt a bit like I was watching him get on the bus for the first time when he went off to kindergarten and knew that once again... it was out of my hands.  But I feel like he was in good hands... God's and some caring people who want to reach down and pull someone else up out of the quicksand.  As I sat and listened to a few conversations around me I realized that probably all of the men, young and old were in much the same place... out of options.  This is probably not where you are going if you have a bunch of money or a fancy insurance policy.  It's also not a quick fix.  Most of the men who complete the program will have been there for six months or more.  They get you clean, get you working and get you focused on God and give you tools and resources to go out and be productive.  It occurred to me that if you are completely overwhelmed and enslaved to an addiction... out of options is a great place to be.  It's the first step.

So... for a good time call...

:)  Actually I know he could really use your prayers.  I doubt he's having a good time right now.  But he's taken that first step... again.  I'm sure like Dan many of the men are not in there for the first time.  Perhaps it's the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time.  But each life is of great value and I am thankful for another chance for my son.  It's not only for men.  Nicole (Dan's fiance) was admitted to the womens facility just a few days before Dan.  I know she would appreciate your prayers too.  In the end I just want to say... I'll never think of those darn bell ringers as pests again.  I'll make sure I have something to drop in the bucket and an encouraging word for them.  Maybe some day I'll even ring a bell myself.  They are in the business of changing lives.

Thanks!!!

Dedicated to April

Would you believe it snowed again this morning?  It's April 7th! This is beyond reducilous!  But now it is sunny, the birds are chirping and I am sitting watching the snow melt off of my car windshield slowly as the sun rises in the sky.  Hmm... That's the kind of stuff you get to do when you're retired.  Wonder how many people would be motivated to save all their pennies so they could sit around and watch that?  Dave and I must really be weird!  Oh wait!  This is Saturday... ok never-mind... but you get the drift right?  Speaking of drifting... this is not about the snow or the month... it's about April the brand new baby calf!  Awwwww...

How cute is she?!!!

And here she is meeting Dave for the first time

And here she is with Mama Ginger, don't look too closely, Ginger is "takin care of business" after the birth.

 So... adorable right???  Now... I love a good steak as much as anyone but this is the time of year when my appetite for beef takes a nosedive!  I mean... that's not a steak... that's a baby!!!  After hanging out with baby April all morning I decided I better make some lunch.  Hmm... what to have... certainly not a burger!  Well I knew I had a beautiful new head of cauliflower in the fridge so I got it out.  I never have an emotional attachment to cauliflower!  I remembered there was also a little wild rice blend hiding on the fridge shelf too... and perhaps some caramelized onion.  Yum!  Oh and some grape tomatoes.  And just a handful of spinach for color.  And freshly grated Parmesan cheeeese!  Yeah... that might work for lunch...

If only I could rotate this pic!  But this was sooo good!  And so non-beefy!  As a matter of fact this could actually be considered vegetarian!  :)  Nice!  I'm so proud of myself!

Of course a nice salad also works too.  I usually don't have meat in my salads... usually.  I made this one a couple of days ago...

It's got grapes, honey glazed walnuts, avocado and Gruyere cheese drizzled with balsamic vinegar and a bit of EVOO.  So good!

That cauliflower dish was so tasty that I decided to bake it in the oven and caramelize it down a bit more and let it appear again at dinner time alongside a very tasty sweet potato and a crispy... PORK chop!  :)  Hey... I said no beef not no meat.  I have very little fondness for pigs... unless of course they are babies but we don't currently have any baby pigs in our barn yard.  That's actually half a pork chop.  I split one with Dave and the other one is scheduled to become some very tasty Mexican soup tomorrow.

The last non beefy thing I want to show you is a little chicken dish that will be on my plate tonight.  Now... when I say chicken really I mean... rooster :)  Dave butchered it himself.  It took me awhile to come to grips with that but... see, last summer our batch of chicks included four little roosters.  It was all well and good to have them scratching around the chicken yard until they grew up.  I mean... those hens were screeeeaming for mercy so whatcha gonna do???  So after experimenting a few times my very favorite recipe for home grown rooster is this...

Kathy's Crock O Rooster

It's sort of a Thai inspired dish.  I imagine it's probably what happens after the cock fights :)  Anyway this little guy is covered with coconut milk, onion, garlic, orange bell pepper, some frozen corn from the garden, red curry paste, cumin, saffron and gobs of peanut butter with a little basil on top.  He will stew all day and be oh so succulent by tonight!  Of course I'll have to make a little basmati rice to serve him over and perhaps a tasty salad to go with him.  And this is what he looks like this in the pot... don't worry, you can hardly even see him under all the pretty colors.

And that's a good place for you rooster!

So here's to April the calf!  It's going to be a very non-beefy month!  Happy eating!  Ciao!

Once Upon A Time...

In a tiny little town called Chewbaccaville there lived a girl named Katarina.  Now Katerina lived in a beautiful valley surrounded by high hills covered with timber and beautiful pastures where grazed deer, elk and cows that Katerina's sweetheart Davis cared for.  Davis worked very hard to make Katerina's home lovely and spoiled her considerably.

Katerina was very happy puttering around her pretty little gardens and whipping up concoctions in her tiny little kitchen but sometimes she got bored and so she would call a friend to come and entertain her.  She had two best friends.  One was named Skinny Minnie and the other Fat Fannie.  She would call Skinny Minnie when she was feeling cheerful and bright.  Skinny Minnie always wanted to go to the gym or take a long walk or perhaps enjoy a healthy spinach salad.    She always said vey encouraging things like, "just think how good you will feel when you're done working out" or "sweat is fat screaming!"  Katerina liked to be seen with Skinny Minnie because she thought everyone would like her  better  but truth be told... she really preferred hanging out with Fat Fannie!  Fat Fannie enjoyed baking gooey walnut brownies and lounging on the couch reading fairy tales.  She also enjoyed driving the buggy down to The Big Fish and indulging in a super duper bacon burger with crispy golden fries!  Katarina never needed to have her arm twisted because she had the self control of a day old calf.

Skinny Minnie must have had ESP or something because it was amazing how often she would call Katerina just as she was going out the door on the way to The Big  Fish.  Katerina almost never answered the phone!      
She knew Skinny Minnie was just looking out for her but she did so enjoy sneaking off with Fat Fannie to the Cupcake Castle.  Yum yum!

This went on for ages!  Katarina was never able to choose a true best friend.  She was so conflicted.  She knew that hanging out with Skinny Minnie would lead to a long healthy life and that surely one day Fat Fannie would sit on her and suffocate her to death.  And so, one day she worked up the courage to tell Fat Fannie that Skinny Minnie would now become her best friend.  Of course Fat Fannie screamed and threw herself on the floor flailing and thrashing about.  It was the most exercise she had had in years!

The very next morning I went to the gym.  No wait... she went to the gym!  (Insert big sigh here)  Ok... I give up. I don't think any of you are fooled right?  I am Katarina and yes, I love my friend Fat Fannie BUT... I really feel so much better when I hang out with Skinny Minnie so a new chapter has begun.  Again.  So Yep!  I went to the gym this morning and sweated my tail off.  (Fat screaming!)  It was painful but good.  I will begin spending time reading and focusing on healthy recipes and I swear to never again forage through my brothers pantry and eat all the girl scout cookies and a whole bag of chips.  :)

The End!

I'm So Sore! That's a Good Thing!

My daughter Molly complained on my facebook wall yesterday that I had posted no pictures or updates except that I was at the gym pretty much every day and how was she supposed to keep up with her mother?  After all... isn't retirement about having more time?  Theoretically that is true.  So what have I been up to?  Hmm... I'm old... I forgot.  :)  Actually she's right.  I have been to the gym... not every day but most days.  That has been a really positive (and somewhat painful) change for both Dave and I.  He is usually with me.  As he said yesterday... we may have to start taking two cars.  I like to stay longer than he does.  Perhaps it's not so much like to as need to :)  He started out in better shape than I am.  We discovered yesterday that we both have lost a lot of inches.  I gave him the customary hug as he started out the door and we were amazed to find that our arms seemed to be much longer.  Either that or our midsections are shrinking.  Sweet!  I keep getting on the scales and am not impressed with any great weight loss but I'm definitely becoming a more firm elephant.  As a matter of fact, I tried on the dress I wore to Bobby's wedding on December 3rd and it was almost baggy!  I want a wedding picture redo!!!  Speaking of the non-impressive weight loss... the fatometer cried out 160.3 this morning and glucose was 114.  Seems like that should have been lower too.  Must have been those 9 or 10 purple tortilla chips I lined my tuna salad with yesterday...

Since it is now the end of the month and as usual I have spent every last dime of my budget I am now in the get really creative phase of cooking.  What this means is I have to figure out what to do with what I have on hand since there will be no more buying anything until Feb 1.  Here was yesterday's idea.  Avocado tuna salad.  This was scrumptious.  You have to like tuna salad but if so... yum!  Instead of mayo I used plain non-fat Greek yogurt.  I don't think I even have mayo in the fridge.  If I do I shouldn't as that would mean it's been there for months.  :)  I used up the remaining very tasty relish that my good friend and neighbor Carol brought me.  I added a couple of hard boiled eggs, some curry powder, chopped sundried tomatoes and a handful of ground almonds.  I had half an avocado that needed to be used so I threw that in too.  It's things like that avocado that are possibly slowing down the weight loss but... no bread!  Oh wait... tortilla chips!  Dang!   The day prior (again... what on earth am I going to make without going to the store) I made some really tasty soup!  I'll call it... Black Bean, Veg, Turkey Sausage Tortilla Soup...

Next time I'll try to remember to actually wipe down the cutting board before I take a pic... but Dave was really hungry and getting cranky having to wait.  I had a couple of whole grain tortillas left over so that inspired me to throw this little concoction together.  Again... the white blob is non-fat yogurt rather than sour cream.  I also added a can of black eyed peas, some frozen tomatoes and a few kernels of frozen corn from the garden.  And since it's just not food with out some sort of meat I chopped up some turkey sausages and added them.  A little taco seasoning, diced avocado and fresh cilantro and yeah baby!

Let's see, what else...  I cleaned out most of the remaining veggies in the fridge (bean sprouts, cauliflower, red onion, orange bell peppers) and used up some left over home made curry peanut sauce and a couple of ounces of sliced steak with this Thai style tofu dish...

There was so little meat in this dish it was almost vegetarian :)  I wonder if I could actually live as a vegetarian?  Well... that's a pointless question.  We have too many cows in the pasture to eat :)  

Speaking of cows...  Yesterday just as Dave stepped out of the shower after coming home from the gym he gazed out into the pasture and noticed that Red Bull was hanging out with the ladies at the top of the pasture rather than being in his own pen and that his cell mate Chuck was actually in Jeremy's (non-resident neighbor) pasture.  He had a wonderful afternoon of playing musical cows trying to get Red Bull and Chuck back in their pen and fix the fence in three places and the chicken yard which Chuck trampled through to escape.  My job was to walk the fence-line to discover the points of escape.  That wouldn't have been so bad except that I did work out really hard at the gym and there is still about six inches of crusty snow to tromp through.  That's why I'm so sore this morning I think.  He was almost successful with returning the correct cows to the correct places.  Red Bull is back in isolation but instead of Chuck he's hanging out with Sara.  She's already pregnant though and Chuck and Sara just wouldn't cooperate.  Seeing as how we ran out of daylight that's how the sleeping arrangements were decided for the evening.

Here are just a few pics from our snow, melt, snow, melt, freezeathon this week.  We were just out for a stroll to the mailbox... look at that handsome skinny man :)

And here I am... not so skinny but improving...

And just the last rays of the day lighting up the hill behind the barn.

Well... I've been blessed with the good fortune of sitting around in my jammies, entertaining myself with thoughts of food and watching the sun come up.  Guess it's time to get busy!  

Before I go... if you occasionally pop in to read my convoluted obsession with food would you consider (if you have not already done so) clicking on the button to become a follower of this blog?  It's helpful to know that you are out there hopefully having a chuckle at my expense :)  Thanks!!!

Ciao!

It Was A Very Fat Year!

Well!  I'm glad 2011 is over!  It was a very fat year.  Between December 1st and today I believe I lost and gained 7 pounds three times!  Bad plan, I know!  But... I'm off to a great start.  I have 10 lbs to go to lose down to where we left off last spring but I can do it!  Actually 2011 was a year filled with many wonderful blessings... but I totally lost my focus :(  So... now I'm back!  With a little discipline I will once again attempt to shrink down to my goal weight of 140.  I can almost see the finish line... if I look through binoculars!

Toward the end of December Dave decided it was time to join the little gym in town and we've been getting his moneys worth for sure!  I can definitely tell I'm making progress.  I will certainly be glad when I look in the mirror and I see something other than a fat little frog looking back at me though!  This morning the fatometer read 160. even and my glucose was 85.  That's a great reading.  The glucose that is not the weight.  Ugh!  No doubt the exercise is really helping those blood sugar numbers.  It's been all over the board the last few months as I feasted my way through the holiday season!

Exercise is big but so is food so I'm back to a fridge loaded with veggies.  Here's what it looks like on the plate...

Grilled cod piled with peppers and side salad.

Big fat amazing salad with pears, figs and feta

Just a big wok full of veggies that became...

Steak stir-fry rotini.  The pasta was whole grain and was my treat for almost passing out at the gym today.  

Cauliflower, salad and rib steak.  How does rib steak fit into a diet you ask?  Well... I split one with Dave.  My portion was just slightly over 2 ounces.  Yes, I weighed it.  The other steak was used to make the steak pasta stir-fry shown above and this slammin salad.  :)  

That my friends is "good eats".  Speaking of good eats... well, let me back up.  Our daughter Amberlyn went with me to the gym...

 pretty much every day between Christmas and New Year.  Except for the day we went skiing...

oops... back to the gym... she helped me learn some of the equipment and showed me some things to do with the free weights.  She said that it is very important to eat some protein after working out.  She really is a little workout freak :)  I don't remember why protein is necessary.  I just remember "blah blah blah protein, let's go buy some protein bars".  So we did.  They are really expensive though!!!  So... I was pretty sure I could find a recipe on the internet and make my own.  The one I chose was from Alton Brown who hosts the series "Good Eats" on food TV.  You did not really think I was going to wind my way back around to good eats did you?  Hmm???  Anyhoo... I made them and they are scrumptious!  They are my healthy protein reward when I finish my workout at the gym...

They are made with pomegranate juice, dried fruit, silken tofu (sounds gross I know but is very good, makes them quite moist) wheat flour, wheat germ, oat bran and walnuts.  Here they are all wrapped up and ready to go.  

They are now in a freezer bag and sitting on the freezer shelf (out of sight out of mind).  I grab one and tuck it into my gym bag as I walk out the door and eat it immediately on the way home.  :)  

Well, there you go!  First blog post of the new year.  Are you exhausted?  I am!  But it's now 10:30 pm and I've kept myself busy (at your expense) writing rather than snacking so now I think it's safe to sign off and go to bed.  

Ciao my friends :)  Here's to a wonderful 2012.  Very hopefully not the year the world ends...

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

Many of you have followed my silly little blog over the past year.  I appreciate your kind comments and your patience.  Some of you have told me that I should take up writing since I’m all retired now and have nothing else to do.  J  Ha ha.  Today I’m writing.  Please bear with me, it may be a little long.  This is a different kind of story.  It’s from my heart and a plea for the prayerful support of all of you dear friends and family who love me.  I’m so blessed to have you! 

Every story has a beginning so I’ll start there.  After my first beautiful daughter “Little Molly” was born I learned that I had some malignant spots on my cervix which had been confirmed by a biopsy.  I made plans to have surgery to take care of this.  Very shortly before the surgery should have taken place I learned that I was pregnant.  The doc suggested that perhaps we should continue with the surgery… but that option would mean terminating the pregnancy.  The other option would be to continue with the pregnancy and monitor the cells through out.  Hopefully they would be slow growing and then we could do the surgery after the baby was born.  My first husband, Jim and I did not want to terminate the pregnancy so we chose the second option.  We are Christians and so we sought prayer from those at our church and other friends and family and trusted that God would take care of us.  And he did.  At the appointed time our son Daniel was born and as any other new mother and father, we were joyful and thankful for the little bundle of awesomeness.  J  The doctor told me to come back in about two months and we would go ahead and take a last look and then schedule the surgery.  So… when Daniel was two months old I went back to the doc.  He had scheduled another colposcopy to review the growth of the cells.  As he began the exam Daniel began to fuss and cry in his car seat.  I know… can you say babysitter?  J  But since I was a nursing mom and babies usually sleep most of the time I had brought him along.  The nurse took him out of the car seat and brought him to me on the table.  He quieted down right away and just snuggled up with me.  So the doc got busy.  He looked and looked.  And did not talk, which I thought was pretty unusual as he usually chatted about other things not related to my insides during exams.  Anyway… eventually he finished the procedure and came around and stood by the side of the table.  He had an awfully funny look on his face so I thought it might be bad news.  Finally I asked, “Well?”  And finally he said, “Well… it’s gone.”  YES!  That was pretty great news to hear.  I asked if that happens often and he said he had never seen it before in his experience.  I asked if we could go ahead and classify it as a minor miracle and he smiled, also being a Christian, and told me he thought perhaps we could.    

I have always considered Daniel a little miracle because of that.  Each child is.  Each child has their own special story.  Each child is a miracle of God and I am so thankful for each child that the Lord has given me.  (And for the other awesome children in my life, I can not tell you how grateful I am that I have not experienced the magnitude of pain that I am about to describe, with you!  Bless you all!)  God has a plan for each of our lives.  I feel like God started me off early with faith for this child because of the circumstance with the cancer.  I could have chosen to have the surgery.  But God had a plan for his life.  I have watched him grow up and at times been so proud.  He is so very smart and has such a kind heart.  Then the teen years arrived!  L  He began getting in trouble with drugs and problems at school when he was I believe about 16.  Possibly earlier but parents are usually the last to know!  We lived through the drug court years.  Weekly then bi-weekly visits before the judge and about a year and a half of rehab and counseling.  Finally he graduated from the program.  They have him a little plaque that says, “You are a miracle”.  I still have it and can actually look over and see it from my desk.  Again… I was so proud!  Over the next years I have continued to watch, pray and have faith that God will bring to pass the plans he has for this young man.  I have shared with him the special story that began his life and told him that I know God has a special purpose for him.  His heart is soft and I have seen him cry many times.  Even knowing he is called of God (in his mother’s opinion anyway) he has run hard and far!  I have recently learned that for the last several years he has been using drugs of the worst kind.  He has lied to everyone who loves him.  He is now helplessly addicted, spending more money on drugs than he is making at his job.  He is doing everything that people do when their next high is the focus of their lives.  His girlfriend Nicole is in the same condition.  We (her mother and I) have known for some time of her situation (although she regularly informs us that she is clean) but he maintained his innocence.  We thought he was helping her hide her addiction in order to stay together and keep their beautiful daughter Aubrey who just turned three years old.  They are now homeless.  They have recently been arrested, lost their vehicle and the custody of Aubrey.  CPS is now involved and Aubrey is with Nana Charlene.  I have not heard from him recently.  If he sees this little story on facebook or is told of it by friends he may be extremely angry.  I find myself past caring about his reaction.  I think though in his heart he would be grateful for your prayers.  One of the things he said to his sister recently was that he was not a bad person.  This is true.  He is not.  He has a very soft heart.  He is a very sick person. 

I have spent the last two days walking around in a daze and am emotionally exhausted.  I slept for 10 hours last night.  I got up this morning feeling pretty good and thought I could get through the day tear free… NOT!  So… I’ve been trying to take care of “stuff” as usual but with very puffy eyes and a very heavy heart.  I have cried out to God as most mothers who have children in crisis do.  Despite the circumstances I have faith that God has him in the palm of his hand.  That he will keep him and deliver and restore him.  He has reminded me again of the special word he gave me for this young man some time ago.  That he will be a “light to his generation”.  You see… he is not the only one.  There are millions of young people in our country, in the world, young people in our neighborhoods and in our families who are also in crisis.  Those of you who are praying people please join me and pray for Daniel and Nicole and little Aubrey.  Please pray for me too.  Yes I have faith!  I am also a mother and my emotions are very “volatile” right now.  J  Pray for our family.  Remember my dear mama.  She has not been feeling well and the doctors have not yet figured out why.  We are going to need our favorite little prayer warrior!  Pray for Nicole’s family.  They are also a good family full of kind people who also just want their daughter to be whole again.   Those of you who are not believers… just watch!  We are about to see a modern day miracle in the life of this young man.  Jesus is alive and well and is about to show himself in a mighty way.  How long must we watch?  I don’t know.  I am extremely tired!  I’m ready!  But I also know that God’s timing is perfect.  This is a statement of faith.  This is something I can’t fix.  But God can.  It’s his specialty.  J

Why would I write this and publish it for all the world to see?  I hesitate to do it.  I’m a pretty private person and would rather hide things that are painful and shameful.  Addiction is not a new thing in our family.  I experienced it as a teenager as my father struggled with alcohol.  This is no secret.  He would be happy to tell you his story of the depths of despair and redemption.  Our son Adam also travelled this road.  He also came to the point where life was just about as ugly as it gets.  Again, heartbreaking to watch.  By the grace of God he is recovering and doing well.  He is rebuilding his life.  I believe he would tell you it has been a very long hard road.  We are so happy to once again hear his larger than life laugh.  I also struggle with my own set of addictions as most of you know.  As I said, I am very much in need of your prayer support.  And I feel that there are so many others who also suffer and may not ask for help because they are too ashamed to talk about it.  But hiding it does not make it go away.  I should know!  Perhaps someone else will read this and it will encourage them to be brave and ask for help too.  The power of prayer and the loving support of people of faith moves mountains!  So thank you!

At this time the story has no ending but I trust that it will turn out very well!